As a matter of fact, I didn’t pay homage to Osamu Dazai’s tomb. I knew he was buried in zenrinji, Sanying City, Tokyo, but it was too hasty. The trip to Tokyo was coming to an end. It was almost dark the day before. I just arrived at Sanying. It was half an hour before the tourists were released. After being instructed, I had to walk forward. I almost saw who gave flowers to his grave, but I was stopped and had to return to the temple road. Although I took a look, it was just like I imagined. He was thin and mixed with stupidity. It is still going on.
The returning car can’t help but think of Taizai’s words again and again. It’s really a stubborn thing. Before evil influence died, he was still looking for his favorite cemetery again and again. Finally, he found zenrinji near Mori ōgai’s tomb. He found and decided his final resting place. Mori ōgai’s tomb behind this temple. I don’t know why the gull’s tomb is like this in Sanying Town, Tokyo, but the cemetery here is clean. My dirty bones may be saved after death if they are buried in a corner of such a beautiful cemetery.
Although the New Saint Cemetery in Moscow in July is cool and shady, cicadas are buzzing again and again, which makes people upset. Fortunately, I can spend an afternoon here to see these tombs, which are almost the best in the world. ulanova’s tombstone is sculpted and danced. Shostakovich’s tombstone is engraved with music, and then I have seen mikoyan’s tomb, fadeev Chekhov’s tomb. Later, this unfortunate man was restless even after his death. A dramatist obsessed with him hired someone to steal his skull from this tomb. After several twists and turns, it is no wonder that the face of Ge’s statue is full of bitterness. It has been
In a lonely grave in a deeper forest, I saw a girl who brought a lot of expensive photographic equipment. She patiently recovered, then lay down in front of the grave, closed her eyes against the shade, and took pictures of herself. Besides me, three or two bystanders also picked up a girl and threw it at the side of the photographic equipment. I also took a look at it, and I got excited in an instant. This album is actually photography. The photos in it are all taken by this girl in front of various graves in spring and on a snowy day. Clothes are naked, and I probably already know that this is a creative artist who has been working in the cemetery. Although people are very different, I still want to rush to hug her because she is really my kindred spirit.
Finally, without me, after all, the more I live, the weaker I am afraid of being taken crazy. After so many years, I have become afraid that the old woman in the graveyard was afraid of being watched and being avoided. What a sad thing it is. In the end, you will always live as the kind of person you hated the most. I remember this sentence correctly in front of Pu Songling’s tomb in Zibo, Shandong Province. A person who is also used to killing time in front of the tomb told me.
All my life, I have been in a lonely soul with Pu Songling. Actually, I have hardly written anything about the towering mausoleum. In his story, I can see that there are all lonely graves. There are several plants of slanting willows and weeds growing on the graves, but it is also a good match for most strange foxes. bad karma, however, I have seen that Pu Songling’s tomb has obviously been badly repaired by later generations, and even a few cypress trees near the tomb are somewhat inappropriate. If foxes take advantage of the night to bring wine and food to Mr. Di, they are afraid that they will enter the wrong grave and stop.
I want to say that madness looks different to ordinary people at first glance, and it’s also a tourist’s look. I’m more willing to take it. He told me a lot of things that made him admire, but the most beautiful thing in life is youth. But the more I talk about it, the more I realize that he is crazy. He told me that he was a fox, a woman thirty years before his reincarnation, and then he changed into a man thirty years later. He also told me that one person in the world understood that he was Pu Songling. When the topic went on, people found out that he was going to drive him away, and he suddenly became violent. Angrily, I shouted that I would walk and push each other, kneeling at the grave, knocking nine heads respectfully, and taking an apple out of my arms and offering it to the ground. Then I turned around and looked around contemptuously, saying that none of you people understood me and floated away.
When I was a woman, he left long ago. I didn’t expect him to hide behind the cypress tree all the time. After the storm subsided, he came back and almost put it in my ear. He said sadly that when I was a woman, I hated being pushed around, but there was no way you could always live as the person you hated the most.
Finally, in the rainstorm, he was driven away again. The previous contempt was different. This time, he hugged a cypress tree with his hands and cried his heart out. I knew that even if he was driven away today, he would definitely come again the next day. I never thought clearly about what was so crazy in the cemetery, but I saw him with a desperate face in the rainstorm in front of Pu Songling’s grave. I almost knew that each of us had stripped off our status and property in the earth. At last, he asked for either a little comfort or he was crazy and was still consciously looking for the same kind. Only when he saw the same kind did he feel that he didn’t need to be
A crazy person will be abandoned by almost people in the end. People are too lazy to listen to them. They are too lazy to see them together, but they quickly reach a consensus. They are unclean and deserve it, but they continue to look for the same kind of energy, and they will continue to hope to meet in the dark. Only when they meet each other can they confirm that they can’t find the same kind, they will find a different kind. If they can’t find anyone, they will go to the cemetery. If they can’t find the living, they will find people in the grave. Because you and I are both abandoned outside the house, they are a bunch of garlands outside
But my grave-sweeping career is still going on, but the situation has changed in the past. but suddenly, before my eyes, you are gone, my grave-sweeping place is no longer getting farther and farther, but getting closer and closer. This is the world. I sweep other people’s graves until now. My grave is still far away, just like living by aesthetics and imagination in my twenties. I don’t want to go to a real external place to live. Today, the aesthetic imagination humiliates me in front of me, and the fact is that everyone is close to the grave. First, you recognize your relatives in one breast, and then you recognize your relatives in your illness.
Like my grandmother, it snowed heavily on New Year’s Eve afternoon. She suddenly woke up and went to visit my grandfather’s grave anyway. I tried hard to persuade her to go there. The road was full of mountain roads, and it was not muddy. The snow kept falling. Our clothes were soaked with snow, and the rest of the world was covered with white. But my grandmother’s fairy care was almost a trot, and even her hand was cut by a dry branch, and the blood was invisible. When it didn’t take much, we reached the top of the mountain and saw my grandfather’s grave. But by this time, she stopped.
The northwest wind roared, and an old woman with blood in her hand fell into meditation. I helped her remember, but she rudely reprimanded her for leaving her alone for a while. Instead, I saw smoke burning in front of a nearby grave. When I got closer, I took a closer look. A young man in blue overalls was crying and burning a sacrifice. It seemed difficult to burn and smelled pungent. The young man was choked and coughed again and again, but the crying got worse. Finally, I turned to enlarge and cried. I went to help him stay near him. Only then did I see that he burned five children’s clothes.
After burning the children’s clothes, I went back to my grandfather’s grave only to find that my grandmother had disappeared. After a few steps, I saw her stumbling and rushing forward not far away. I rushed to catch her and tried to stop her and help her. I didn’t expect her to run faster and turn around. Tears asked me if I wasn’t dead. You won’t bury me now, will you? She didn’t think that she came here after all, and she didn’t think that she was actually somewhere else. She was with her favorite person.
Instead of chasing her, I choked and stopped to look at her. At this time, I stopped thinking about letting her run farther and farther alone and have a good trip. My grandmother wishes you to forget everything in the world forever, forget illness, forget death and forget the grave of the world.
When people are on their way
My grandfather once told me that his generation did experience a lot of misfortunes, the biggest of which was that it was not until his later years that the real grain was plentiful. Compared with when he was young, many people were in a hurry, and time was the most deadly thing in the future. I generally understand that he ate apples for the first time among his friends because his teeth were broken, and his children and grandchildren bought televisions because he could not see them. In this world, people are desperate and always marginal.
In the eyes of my grandfather, this ordinary person is nothing less than a drunken dreamland. Every time he comes to Wuhan, he doesn’t want to go to the door without a camera.
In front of the Red Mansion, at the second bridge of the Yangtze River and at the bottom of the ginkgo tree in Baotong Temple, he has been left in several places in this city. He doesn’t look old. In every photo, he is smiling and warm, and his age is not commensurate. Just beside him, I have a fresh contrast. He warned me not to pull a long face and look at the sentence that he wrote last year. He believed that even if he put it in Li Bai’s poem, it would be a bit confusing. He also warned me to look at Arafat very close to death, but also to see if it happened. My dear grandfather knew more about the world than I did
This time, he was angry because my father wouldn’t let him have a gastroscopy, so he came to Wuhan to find his eldest grandson. Unexpectedly, I also expressed my father’s opposition to him and told him again and again that it is common for an old man who is over 90 years old to drink half a catty of wine every meal. It is impossible for him to have a gastroscopy as he did when he was ten years old. People are not always worried after remembering. Of course, he believes that I am a bad grandson.
I want to take another week off. My grandfather tortures me a little every day. He refuses to sleep until he sees the snow. He drags me out of bed at dawn every day. He tells me earnestly that it is obvious that Tian Xingjian is strong and strong. It is in my anger that he has been running around our door all afternoon asking about his neighbors. Only then can he be sure that a person of his age is really not suitable for gastroscopy. At this time, he is still angry and wants to drag me to climb the mountain in East Lake.
When I was a child, he yelled at me every day when I went to the door, so I ran like a tiger. After so many years, I couldn’t stop him when I climbed the mountain. I watched him run far in front of me, turned around and yelled at me, and ran. But after all, he couldn’t shout again after half his strength. I thought about it and wanted to sit on the steps and gasp and look at me shyly.
I walked up to him and he sat together, both of them panting. The little war came to an end, and we ushered in a tender moment. I don’t know, but he became an obedient child. Sitting beside me quietly seemed to be full of grievances, but he no longer complained. In an instant, I knew all about how to change the law. I was angry. He was actually looking for vitality. He made people around him notice him. He wanted him to feel that he was happy. He wrote poems or stayed up late to watch them. Let’s just say that he drank medicine because he was dying at hand. My dear grandfather was seriously and was in a hurry.
At the same time, I am looking for a missing friend these days. He told me years ago that life must have a goal, so his goal is complete failure.
He said he had done it all these years. He quit his job and never got married. Occasionally, rivers and lakes are fleeting. Half a month ago, his girlfriend suddenly called me in tears when she was on a highway in Jiangsu. Please, I will find him anyway.
That’s good. Find him. I talked more than usual for a month in a week and attended several suspicious parties. People kept claiming to know about him, but every time I came from the bar as drunk as a fiddler, he still had a question hanging in front of me. It should be in a bar by the Yangtze River. I suddenly had an illusion. I suspected that my friend was not really far away. Maybe he was hiding in the bar and looking at us. Just like the village teacher said, death is not born in opposition, but in life.
Saying goodbye to this updated world is sad. milosz said that he envied and doubted shame. I believe that my grandfather must feel the same way about milosz dialect, but in my friend’s place, this sentence should be reversed, and the word sad should be replaced by the word sad. For so many years, he is like a person who lived in Wei, Jin and Tang Dynasties. Of course, I don’t think of him as Ji Kang Meng Haoran in our time, but he has indeed regarded life as a joke and willingly accepted himself as a joke in many cases, saying that dreaming is the most enjoyable butterfly in dreams is fascinating. Yes, when everyone is scrambling to enter.
word
It didn’t matter whether it was good or bad. On the way back to the train last night, my grandfather refused me to escort a person. I suddenly remembered Haishi and I couldn’t find my friend for days. It was he who lent me Haishi. In the boundless night, my grandfather’s friends were all on their way up and down, riding and hiking.
Yihai said, Give the stone back to the stone, and let the victory be won. Tonight, the highland barley belongs to him. I’m sorry, dear grandfather. Can I describe you as a highland barley? Listen to me. Tonight, the highland barley belongs to him.
Write the letter to Emily
I want to talk about you, Emily Dickinson. Just yesterday, I finished my trip and went home by train. In the poor waiting room of a mountain town, I saw a middle-aged woman crying and returning her silent daughter. I don’t know what kind of difficulties they were put on hold, but I can still live with middle-aged women crying. When people can escape these mourning theories, there must be people in the world outside us. Later, I got on the bus with them, and they were almost neighbors. Therefore, the middle-aged women cried all the way to my ears. On the contrary, the mourning daughter seems to have accepted the sorrow that has come, and she has to calm down and wipe away her tears for her mother. She leans against the window and looks at Emily. She reads you.
Suppose you are what I imagined. You are not in amherst’s grave, but in my life. You should have seen it for more than ten years. I have never stopped reading you many times. When I am also in misery, I hold it in my hand like a straw. So many people will treat me like this for more than ten years, but it is good that I have to cross my wooden bridge. It is best for no one to read you. Then I know that your good soul chooses your partner and closes the door. You have long said that she is sacred.
For me, it has always been the most prominent part in my memory. I was a poor student for many years in the 17-year-old summer vacation. My patience with my school life seems to have reached the limit. Although I returned to school at the end of the summer vacation, I was excited to accept my father’s arrangement to go to a remote tax, which became a temporary farmer’s tax. Once I passed by the blacksmith’s shop by the reservoir, I met the well-known old girl, the blacksmith’s daughter, who was claustrophobic all day. The rural Chinese teacher actually talked to me about poetry because she had never heard of Emily Dickinson’s name
Emily, I accepted you. No, I’m not crazy about you. I rode into the town with a tax bill, passed through a canal, surrounded by shrubs, passed through a garden, moonlight and cornfields. You sounded them up. They not only kept rolling in my body, but they couldn’t speak. You said how happy a small stone was, and accomplished its absolute destiny in casual simplicity. You also said that every moment we had to pay for the pain. The tremor was more painful than madness. You saw it in that lonely town, except imagining the claustrophobic old girl as you.
Who can tell me what this common sight has added? I have never seen fantasy and majesty. In the end, I will go to your poetry letter to find the answer. My partner is a hill and sunset. They are all superior to human beings because they are sensible but don’t tell.
You know I’m always failing, even in a foreign country, Tokyo. It’s no exception. It’s my first time to fly and walk so far. I’m scared to death. That’s why I’m at a loss when I’m 19 years old. I’m always lost in the rain, and no matter how long I’m still planting beeches and living in Meimachi, it’s a foregone conclusion. It’s a foregone conclusion to move one after another, sell fake cards and eat a meal. While I’m still eating, I’m just determined not to draw a dungeon in my apartment and then
But panic and fear go hand in hand, and I can’t get rid of them at all. Thanks to you, Emily, a poem, a letter and a diary are almost ruined by me. I read them savagely, just like when I first entered Buddhism. I’d better close my eyes and torture my body with scripture. It’s best to burn it all over my insides. Maybe there will be a little comfort delirium in the flame. Since you are lonely and difficult, I can be a little white. Does that mean that one day I can write to drive away doubts and anxiety like you, and I can be confined to my favorite prison all my life?
It’s so easy to get rid of you, and you’re not here. This is where you are. It’s also where you are. Autumn leaves Musashino, I’m true. I’ll talk about whether I was kicked out by the landlord or I didn’t know where I was after a hangover. They all lost their way. A thought was born. This thought came from the sky, but don’t forget to embrace my weakness at all times. Emily, you said I was like a child passing by the cemetery. I sang a song for fear. This is what I wrote, sir.
Everyone really needs an Emily, regardless of whether her surname is Dickinson or Qiansun Zhao Li wants her to be Emily. Write a letter to her, and then she will reply to you. In that reply, she will call for help, and she will give it back. When you are at the bedside of a dying relative, she said that death is all controlled by me, or you are scolded by the company. She said that it is precious because you gave me blood ointment before me, and there are more disappointing moments. We can’t wait for that kneeling knot. Fortunately, she sounds fake. It belongs to me. I can’t avoid it. It doesn’t belong to me
And who are you? Tell others your name without preaching. Once you fall into the void, I will wash my lessons. Emily Dickinson was born in amherst, Massachusetts in 1913. At the age of twenty-five, she abandoned the outside world and lived in her boudoir for thirty years, that is, her family could live in seclusion through the crack of the door. In her life, she wore a white dress. In her eyes, the most solemn thing in the world was to see the white emperor in white. She was ill and often trapped by eye diseases for many years. Insanity has loved several men, but they have never held hands. Even the one who let her break her heart in a few years has only met her a few times in her life. It is the only thing she can do, but she doesn’t want people to know that she hid them in a box until she died. One or six years later, she died. At the funeral, she still wore a white dress, no wrinkles, and white hair. It is hard to say that she was at peace.
I also want to talk about you, Emily Dickinson. My wrinkled white hair will never come, but I want to know what kind of road to live in this hard-working world can lead to unspeakable peace. You know that I have come here. At this time, youth is over, and middle age has kicked off. This place is no longer a moonlight cornfield, but a kitchen and vegetable market. The road for sick children to run towards the hospital is like a stone gradually emerging. This career is showing its shape. After years of torture, I swallowed my wine and feasted in the hospital. I finally got to know those people who love to say things, but where did the shy and timid man go? No matter whether he was in the bushes in the town or wandering around the Tokyo car, he had to hold a little bit of debris in the twilight to go crazy. Where did he go?
Once again, Emily, it’s a good thing that you were either anxious or regretful when you got up in the morning. I read it again. It didn’t take you long to read it. Soon I reconfirmed that you projected light and shadow from your encounter and also distributed blessings. None of them ever abandoned me. Although it was as silent as the truth, it was always there, but it was just that I spent years hanging around and tore it into pieces. Now it’s time to gather the soul. It’s not elsewhere, it’s on the way to blame. It’s still a past. It’s that we are weak. Once we are attracted by the scenery of Li or the sunset glow, you see, I will become the only kangaroo in the beautiful scenery. How strange the beautiful scenery has become a kind of pain for me. This pain is not death, but it may be crying in the typewriter’s sour office, but they are all bitter. This beautiful scenery is not Emily Li or the sunset glow, but it may be that our relatives have recovered from a serious illness, but they are all beautiful.
We can be here instead of there. We can be close to here instead of kneeling there.